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 (分割提上来)关于孩子惩罚问题---关键不在于用什么方式惩罚，而在于怎么利用这些方式 |
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Tom12
头衔: 海归少校
加入时间: 2005/08/16
文章: 33
来自: US
海归分: 11249
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作者：Tom12 在 海归茶馆 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
There is really no one best way. It depends on your child's personality and how you use these approaches. There are a few principles I would consider when it becomes necessary to discipline my child:
1. When you see any undesirable behavior, bring it up as early as possible. Don't wait until you absolutely have to do something about it. Children do not know what's good or bad until you tell him so. So, when they do something they are not sure of, they would do it and see your reaction. If you let it go the first time, they would perceive it to be OK and keep doing it. The problem with correcting then at a later time is that they would think the parents are not being consistent and they will resist with denial.
2. Think long term. With kids, the most efficient way (such as scolding, beating, threat etc) to discipline is usually the most ineffective. Whatever approach you use, you want to achieve a result such that they would understand a. what's good /bad (value proposition), b. they are great kids so that they know what to do (give them him high expectation) and c. you love them no matter what they do (self-esteem).
3. Always be very kind to them, even when you punish them. Children are very very sensitive. More sensitive than their parents can ever imagine. What they fear most, most of time, is not spanking but the loss of your love. Never ever threat to leave them. Never punish them when you are angry, upset, or not in very good control of your emotion.
4. When punishing them, follow a good process including: 1. ask them if they know they did something terrible. 2. explain to them why it is necessary to punish him (for his own good and for the family's principles etc. ). 3. ask them if they agree the punishment is due and reasonable, if not convince them. 4. tell them if they continue to behave like this the next time, the punishment will be much more severe. 5. Make sure they understand you still love him as much as before and this is not personal.
5. I do not object spanking, but always use it as a a last resort. If you consistently follow the above-mentioned principle, you probably never have to spank.
作者：Tom12 在 海归茶馆 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
上一次由Tom12于2007-4-17 周二, 10:34修改，总共修改了1次
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 (分割提上来)关于孩子惩罚问题---关键不在于用什么方式惩罚，而在于怎么利用这些方式 -- Tom12 - (2187 Byte) 2007-4-16 周一, 02:57 (1281 reads)
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