Happy Mother's Day
OKINAWA - 1950 - My mother at 16 in her school picture.
War. Destruction. The loss of family. Famine. Beatings. Racism. Misogyny. Infidelity. Betrayal. Despite dealing with all these things, my mother continues to be a survivor.
Okinawa was originally part of the Kingdom of the Ryukyus, a peaceful, independent monarchy with its own language and customs – a bustling center of trade situated between Japan, Taiwan and Korea. After being forcibly assimilated by Japan, it was dismissed by the Japanese for decades as a backwater colony.
During World War II, the Japanese army took up defensive positions on the island chain, and my mother, at age 11, endured the Battle for Okinawa. The US Army estimates that 142,000 civilians, more than 1/3rd of the population, were killed...including tens of thousands of women and children. She witnessed her grandmother buried alive in a trench during an American bombing run - hearing her screams from beneath the dirt. Her brother, a 17-year-old student, was burnt to death by US troops with flamethrowers who mistook Okinawan school uniforms as Japanese military uniforms. Finally, to add insult to decades of poor treatment, once the US had captured the islands, the Japanese then bombed and shot up the territory indiscriminately.
These are only some the events she's told us about...there are far worse things that she's still not able to discuss, 60 years later.
After the war, my grandfather, an abusive alcoholic, beat her regularly, trying repeatedly to keep her at home and out of school. Defiant and fiercely independent, she ran away from home in order to attend college...not too long after this photo was taken. (Looking at this picture, you can feel the anger smouldering just under the surface, I think...)
She met and fell in love with my father, coming to the States in 1956 only to be subjected to intense anti-Japanese animosity (ironic for an Okinawan) and racism. Then my dad, the first man she let herself trust, became unfaithful and physically abusive. Rather than take it, she kicked him out.
In the 1980s, after years working as a hairdresser breathing in hairspray, she lost 60% of her lung tissue to chemically-induced emphysema. At first fearing she might die, she fought it, and is now healthy and still kicking at age 74.
By most people's standards, this woman has had a difficult life. Yet she shielded us kids from all strife, constantly put us before herself, made sure we grew up happy, educated and functional, and somehow found a way to put the three of us through college on her own as a hairdresser and single parent. She refuses to complain about anything, insisting she's had a good life.
She is a survivor.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I'm glad the last several have been better for you. Of all the people I know, you so deserve them.
