Here are some easy lessons gleaned from the experiences of a number of
would-be bank robbers.
Pick The Right Bank: You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow
in Anaheim, CA, who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business
and had no money.
Study Your History: Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of
Northfield, Minnesota. Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk
took just seven minutes to kill two and capture three of his gang. Nobody
tried again until 1984, and the customers chased the guy down. They're tight
with their dollar, those Minnesotans.
Speak To The Right Teller: One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to
the teller, and her father, who was in the next line, got all bent out of
shape about it. He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat on him until
authorities arrived.
Don't Sign Your Demand Note: Demand notes have been written on the back of a
subpoena issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh... on an envelope
bearing the name and address of another in Detroit. And in East Hartford,
Connecticut, on the back of a withdrawal slip giving the robber's signature
and account number.
Don't Advertise: A teenage girl in Los Angeles tried to distract attention
from her face by wearing a see-through blouse with no bra while holding up
banks.
Go Easy On The Disguise: One robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy
make-up, ran face first into a glass door. He was the first criminal ever to
be positively identified by lip-print.
Take Right Turns Only: Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took
a wrong turn into the Homestead Air Force base, drove up to a military
police guardhouse and, thinking it was a tollbooth, offered the security men
money.
Be Aware Of The Time: Imagine the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire,
Massachusetts, who hit the bank at 4:30 PM, then tried to escape through
downtown North Adams, where he was trapped in rush hour traffic until police
arrived.
Consider Another Line Of Work: Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous
Newport, RI robber, while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his
shirt pocket, shot himself in the head and died instantly.
Be Strong: Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea,
Massachusetts, who, when the teller told him she had no money, fainted. He
was still unconscious when the police arrived. His getaway car parked nearby
had the keys locked inside
